... most everyone does these, but wishes they didn't!

All families of addiction make mistakes. It's hard to know how to help your loved-one overcome their addiction, but we can help!

When dealing with addiction, the family's instinct is to work towards making the addict's life more comfortable. Believing that 'if only' their life was more comfortable and stress free, then, they wouldn't want to use or drink... This approach sometimes helps temporarily, but never for the long-term, because it doesn't take into account the true causes of addiction.

Paying the addict's bills, or, buying new cars, or, catching them up on the rent sounds very helpful, but it won't get an addict into sobriety. In fact, it only exacerbates and prolongs the recovery process.

Here's the top 13 mistakes families make with helping their addict loved-one.

1. Make excuses for the addict, time & time, again

2. Over-rescue their adult children

3. Get angry, then repeat same behavior

4. Feel responsible for the addict's feelings

5. feel anxious when "they" have a problem

6. Find yourself solving the Addict's problems for them

7. Find yourself saying 'YES' when you mean 'NO'

8. Feel victimized by your own family member

9. Stay so busy so you don't have to think about things

10. Pretend things aren't as bad as they are

11. Watch problems get worse

12. Believe the addict when they blame the rest of the world

13. Say you won't tolerate any more bad behavior...Then, bail 'em out once more!

The reason an addict/alcoholic can't stop on their own, no matter how much they want to, or, say they will, is because addiction is not a will-power issue.

Since the primary characteristic of addiction is 'bad-behavior', it's easy top think that the addict simply needs to change their change bad behavior into good behavior. It doesn't actually work like that.

Addiction is a genuine disorder of the brain. Using the drugs or alcohol is merely a symptom of that disorder. The 'using' part is simply the default in the brain. Real change requires an complete overhauling

of the addicts thinking, their perspective, coping responses, self-image perception, and so on...

Think of it this way...

If the addict/alcoholic had the ability to solve their own addiction problem they would've done it by now!

A recreational user can stop at the first threat of;

• losing a job

• losing a spouse or child (separation)

• losing car

• losing their home

• or, anything else of value

An addict can-not stop using even under the threat of losing everything that is important to them.

Lasting recovery requires the help of professionals and a willingness to learn how to undergo a serious journey of changing everything about themselves, specifically; how they view themselves in the world, identifying distorted thinking, faulty decision-making, overcoming tremendous shame, spiritual development, combined with allowing oneself the time and space it takes for the brain to heal, emotions to be deeply felt and processed, while steadily applying new ways of thinking.

lasting change does not happen overnight, but it can happen for you! If you are willing to commit to a journey of self-discovery.. Wherever that leads, I promise it will be more fantastic than you can even imagine, right now.

Trust the process!

Dr. Miles K. Lewis

Justinslighthouse.com