WHY ADDICT’S FAIL AT RECOVERY

Don't change the situation - Work towards changing the person!

It’s very common to focus on helping the addict change their situation. However, unless the addict learns how to change themself, no situation will make a difference,

A common family perspective is; “If we can set ‘em up in a new situation, then they’ll be good” Take the Addict back to church, pay-off their debts, give them a clean start, set ‘em up in new apartment/home buy new clothes, send them to a short-term rehab for a "quick fix"., immediately post bail / LEGAL FEES, buy new car, and maye even some new furniture.

These are wondferful things to be able to do for our loved-one but it won't keep them soer, and definitley doesn't put them in a position for a life-changing transformation.

The addict's perspective is typically; “Once I feel better, I should be good to go”. Addict’s have a long-history of short-term success followed by more underachievement. It’s easy to believe that once they feel better in early recovery, they should be good-to-go. However, unless the addict takes extra time to dig deep into their own issues and solidify their change, they will default back into old thinking & behaviors.

Feeling better & learning new information is not enough. The Addict must solidify their changes. Which means; when they’re ready to move to the next stage they should continue in the same process without changing ANYTHING!

Without a consistent system for the addict to learn, heal, practice, and solidify, nothing will change, long-term. The addict must keep doing exactly what they have been learning, over & over to solidify it! Recovery must be praticed behaviorally for anything to change.

For families, don't focus on helping the addict change their situation, focus on boundaries and accountability. Which mean, support them into a recovery process of change. As long as their are accepting professioonal help and working that program diligently, then families will agree to keep paying the cell phone (or whatever it may be). If the addict isn't working towards recovery, then pull back on your support. That is the strongest boundary families can implement and it works! At first it may come with resistant, anger, name-calling, guilt trips, etc... but, that's only because the addict isn't used to hearing the word 'No'.. . Stand your ground in a loving and compassionate way but don't budge.

Addiction has been a lifetime in the making. and achieving recovery takes real effort, real courage, from everyone involved. So, buckle up if you really want to help your loved-one.